Coeur Déchiré
by Kiso
Summary: Lilly loves Oliver, and he loves her. But when Oliver is forced to move to Florida because of his dad’s job, Lilly will turn to the one guy she has left: Jackson. What happens when Oliver comes back to visit? Who does Lilly choose?
1. My Wave

**Coeur Dechire**

**By:** Kiso

**Summary: **Lilly loves Oliver, and he loves her. But when Oliver is forced to move to Florida because of his dad's job, Lilly will turn to the one guy she has left: Jackson. What happens when Oliver comes back to visit? Who does Lilly choose?

Enjoy my new little story! This is just a taste of it, so this chapter probably isn't going to be too long. By the way, Coeur Dechire means 'Torn Heart' in French.

**_EDIT:_ I added a bit more when Julx27xluvsxHM suggested that the story should be longer and explain more about Oliver leaving! So, here's some extra information---Oliver wouldn't leave Lilly that fast!**

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**MY WAVE  
**

I snuggled into Oliver and watched the waves hit the rocks, hitting them with so much force I was surprised that the rocks didn't break. I was surprised that something could have so much force, so much impact.

I was surprised how hard love could hit you.

Maybe I was like that rock, waiting for the wave that could tear me apart and whisk me away to some new place that I'd only dreamed about. And Oliver was my wave; crashing against me like a ton of bricks, enveloping me in his warm embrace and never letting me go.

"Ready to go?" he whispered into my ear, tickling my very insides.

"Yeah," I said, starting to get up. He helped me up and took my face in his hands, leaning in so he could kiss me. As soon as his lips touched mine, I felt it. That feeling of happiness surging through me, from my ruffled hair to my sand-covered toes. But as soon that feeling hit me, another one did, also. This was a new feeling. A feeling of longing, like we only had so much time between us. But Oliver let go before I could decipher the feeling.

His eyes showed no longing or anything else; just his usual caring and love. He smiled at me and I couldn't resist smiling back. I grabbed his hand and started walking towards my house, never letting go.

---

That Monday, I walked out of my house and stepped onto my skateboard, excited to see Oliver again. He was waiting for me outside the school, like always, his shaggy brown hair blowing in the wind and his chocolate brown eyes sparkling with boyish excitement.

"Oliver!" I yelled, running over to hug him. He hugged me and I felt his face in my hair. He hugged me tightly, rocking me from side to side.

"I have to leave early today. Are you okay walking home alone?" he asked me, pulling out of the hug.

I fake pouted and said, "Noooo. But I think I'll make it!" He grabbed my hand and we walked into school together. It was just one day.

That whole week, Oliver was at school the beginning of the day but he always left around second period. I wondered but I didn't say anything. Maybe one of his family members was sick or something. Maybe his dad needed help around the house or something. Maybe...I dunno. It's probably just harmless.

It was all harmless until Friday.

---

I could feel it in my dreams; that feeling again. What was it? Why did it bother me so much? It was probably just in my head, haunting me like a ghost. My eyes snapped open as my alarm clock went off, telling me it was time to get up and face school again.

I knew something was wrong as I stepped out of my house. Oliver was there, that was strange, but he looked cheerless as he opened his arms out to me. I ran over and hugged him, dropping my book bag, causing my school things to scatter all over my driveway.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, searching his eyes but finding nothing. They were black as night. Not good, I thought. What's going on?

"I'm leaving, Lilly," he said, not really looking at me, his voice sad and detached.

"Like, for a trip?" I looked behind him and I could his mom's car a few feet away, obviously waiting for him.

"No, Lilly. Forever. My dad got transferred to Florida and now we have to move there. That's why I've been gone during school so much this week. I wanted it to be quick. I didn't want to drag it out and have you be depressed. I'm so sorry, Lilly! I love you. I love you, I love you, but I have to go I'm so sorry, Lilly! I love you. I have to go," he said, pulling me off him and walking away.

Bullets couldn't have hit me harder. A train couldn't have killed me with that kind of force. What was that noise? That ripping noise? Oh. It was my heart. It was tearing.

Tears flowed down my face as I tried to call out to him, but nothing came out. No, no, no. God, please, no. Let this be a dream. Please, God, please. Please.

"No! Oliver, no!" I said as the choking sobs overtook me. He looked back one last time, smiling sadly at me, mouthing that he loved me. I fell to the ground, burying my face in my face, looking up just in time to see the car drive away.

Just in time to see my destiny drive away. Suddenly, I lost it. I lost my wave and the deep embrace. I felt myself sinking somewhere to the bottom of the ocean, deeper and deeper until I was just a pebble on the bottom of the ocean floor.

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Hope you guys liked this beginning; there's more where this came from!

-Kiso


	2. Tying My Shoes

A / N: I'm really really happy with the story and the first chapter and everything, so I'm continuing! I promise I'll update as fast as I can, but sometimes things get in the way. For instance, the two projects I have due this week and the test I have Monday. But, for now, I'm just continuing the story and hoping you guys enjoy it.

Thank you, reviewers! I love you all sooo much!

Enjoy!  
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TYING MY SHOES

What was going on? Who was that girl on the floor, lying there like she's been knocked over by a football player? Why is she crying? And who is that other girl running up to her, trying to get her up? Why does the blonde girl keep screaming, 'Oliver?'

It was like I was looking through a two-way mirror. I could see her, but she could not see me. But I knew that, soon, I would feel her pain, understand what she was going through. But for now, I wanted to live in the delusion that the love of my life had not just left and I was not going hysterical as Miley tried to snap me out of it.

---

I snapped back into reality as I felt a strong pair of arms quickly pick me up and start running with me. I was vaguely aware of somebody screaming before I finally realized that the screaming came from own mouth. I tried to shut up but it wouldn't stop. Why won't the screaming stop?

"OLIVER!" I screamed once more before slipping into a dreamless, loveless, unconscious state, letting my mind shut off and pray to God that this was the worst nightmare I'd ever had.

---

One day before two.

Two became three.

Three became four.

Seven became fourteen.

Fourteen became thirty.

Thirty became sixty.

Before I finally realized that he was gone.

---

My eyes opened lazily. Was I in my room? No, no I wasn't. I was in a familiar yet at the same time completely new surrounding. I tried to turn my head to the side but it wouldn't budge. Had I been sleeping this whole time? How long had it been?

"Lilly," I heard somebody whisper. Miley. I remembered Miley. She was always there. Sweet, sweet Miley. Had she been there this whole time?

"M-Miley," I croaked.

"Lilly," she said, just a bit louder.

"Why. Why are you so far away?"

"I don't want to scare you."

"Sc-scare me?"

"You scream if anyone comes too close."

"Have I been asleep this whole time?"

"No. You woke up and went to school and ate and slept. But you barely talked, Lilly. You threw your skateboard at the wall. You threw your school books into the ocean."

"Oh. Where am I?"

"My room. You've been staying here. You wouldn't go into your house."

I got up and flexed my fingers. They felt old. Stiff, like sandpaper. So I hadn't been sleeping the whole time. But I couldn't remember a thing after it happened. Hopefully I hadn't scared Miley too badly. I caught sight of a heap of blankets and pillows on the ground. "You slept on the floor?"

Miley nodded. "Jackson slept in here, sometimes, too."

I nodded, understanding the information but not entirely processing it. Jackson? I knew him. Yeah. Miley's brother. I thought he hated me. Or disliked me, at best.

"How-how long has it been, Miley?"

"Two. Two months."

"Oh. Oh gosh. I'm sorry if I scared you, Miley. But I'm better now. I think I can function again. I'm so sorry."

Miley slowly walked to me, outstretching her arms. "Don't be. I completely understand." She didn't give me a hug, just stood there, waiting for me to come to her. She didn't want me to start screaming again. I walked slowly over to her. My feet felt like cement blocks. They were unfamiliar to me. My whole body was. I gave Miley an awkward hug before letting go and trying to smile.

It must've looked like something else, because worry flashed in Miley's eyes. I sighed and blinked, still feeling like an alien. "What day is it?"

"Saturday."

"Cool. I'm. I'm hungry," I said, managing a small smile.

Miley smiled and we walked slowly to her kitchen. It felt good to finally be aware of myself again. I would not of anything but the present and the future. It was only going to be happy days from now on.

I found it easier to smile as I spotted Miley's dad. He had always been like a father to me, protecting me and chiding me like my dad used to. "Hi, Mr. Stewart!"

He was caught off-guard, but he recovered quickly and said, "Hey, Lills! How ya feeling?"

"Good. Hungry," I said, feeling goofy. It felt weird to try to be normal when I wanted to march back up the stairs and throw myself in my catatonic state again. Or possibly throw myself out the window.

Jackson bounded down the stairs but stopped short when he saw me. "Hi."

"Hi," I replied, trying to smile again. It came somewhat easily.

"So, what do you wanna eat, Lilly?" Miley's dad asked me in a voice that was almost a whisper.

"Blueberry waffles," I said without even thinking about it. My mind probably knew a million things I wanted to eat now that I could actually comprehend things.

Mr. Stewart walked around the kitchen, preparing my waffles, and a thought hit me. I bet it was embarrassing to have a sixteen-year-old girl go full out crazy in your house when you had so much else going on, like a secret pop sensation and a hormone-raged senior.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out.

"Don't worry about it," Billy Ray answered, understanding and knowing that I didn't want to explain my apology.

Miley sat down next to me, staring at the kitchen counter.

"How's Hannah?" I asked, trying to make up for the silence she had probably endured these past two months.

Miley smiled. "Really good. Just had, like, four concerts and a bunch of CD signings and stuff. They made Hannah boots! It cracked me up!"

I laughed. Miley looked at me and smiled, her eyes warm and comforting. "I'm sorry to you, too, Miles."

Miley shook her head and put her arm around my shoulder, hesitantly at first, but then confidently when I didn't flinch or shrink away. I leaned me head on her shoulder, eternally grateful for everything that she had done for me.

---

I prepared myself to face a day of school that I would actually be aware of and possibly even remember. I remembered how much I had hated that tedious process. Trying to figure what to wear; getting everything ready for the next day; making sure all your homework was done.

Miley started to climb into the heap of blankets, but I yelled out, "Wait, Miley!"

She stopped and turned to face me. "What?" she asked, her eyes wide and worried. I had been fine this weekend, laughing and smiling, and she was probably worried about me slipping into that state again.

"You sleep on the bed!" I said, fluffing the pillow for her.

She smiled, but shook her head. "No, you sleep on the bed. I want you to be comfortable."

"I'll be more comfortable if I know you're comfortable!"

"Lilly," she sighed.

"Fine, then. I'll sleep on the floor with you!" I grabbed a pillow off her bed and threw it next to Miley.

"Lilly!"

"I'm not listening!" I smiled at her and snuggled into the blankets on the floor. They were actually pretty comfortable.

"Gosh, Lilly. You could just sleep on the bed. You're so stubborn," Miley said, rolling her eyes at me.

I smiled. "I know! But that's why I'm your best friend!"

Miley laughed and rolled over on her side. "Good night, Lilly."

"Night, Miley." I said, closing my eyes and sleeping dreamlessly.

---

I stared at my shoes and my brain tried to put together the simple task that I had been doing since I was four years old. Tying my shoelaces.

Miley laughed at me as she saw me trying to repeat the whole 'rabbit in the hole' thing. I never remembered, but I knew that I remembered how to tie my shoes. My brain finally clicked and I tied my shoes without difficulty.

"Oh, hush, Miley. I'm just tired," I said.

"Sure, sure," she answered, still giggling.

As soon as we reached the front of the school, my feet turned away and walked towards the commons entrance, away from the place where he used to wait for me.

I sighed as I felt hundreds of eyes on me, probably waiting for me to run out the door and start screaming. I wondered if I'd ever done that. Probably.

Surprisingly, I still remembered my locker number and the combination, even though I'd forgotten how to tie my shoes. I shoved my needed books in my backpack, noticing that most of them were new and in great shape. Oh. Right. I'd thrown most of them in the ocean.

School passed uneventfully, except for the fact that whenever I walked into a room, kids would stop talking and then whisper frantically. They could be a little inconspicuous. And kids would always whisper to each other when they though I couldn't hear. I wished I couldn't hear.

As soon as the last bell rang, I was out of my seat and at my locker, carelessly throwing my books in my locker. I knew I had some homework, but I couldn't exactly remember what. Oh, well. I'd probably written it down somewhere.

Miley tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to face her, smiling.

"How was your day?" she asked me, a hint of concern in her voice.

"Pretty boring," I said, making sure my face was clear and untroubled.

"You wanna come to my house again?"

I thought about it. My mom was probably really stressed, having to work all and then come home and know that I was off going crazy at Miley's house. "Nah. I don't want my mom to worry anymore. But thanks. So much."

"Anytime! See you later!" she walked away, waving.

"Later!"

I took the longest possible trail home, avoiding any shortcuts or detours. I let distractions distract me. I let interesting people interest me. But, it was inevitable. Pretty soon, I was standing right where I had been that day, thinking only of eating when I got in and homework and math problems and sleep.

As soon as I stepped in the door, I knew that it was a bad choice. All those feelings came rushing back to me, almost paralyzing me as I my book bag slid off my shoulder. It fell with a _thud_ that was deafening to me, and I quickly picked it up, running out and closing the door behind me. I couldn't be in that house with all those feelings with no one to dilute them.

I ran and ran and ran until I was in front of Miley's house, panting. The sky had gotten cloudy, and I hoped it wouldn't rain. Rain depressed me. I knocked on the front door that felt like my own door. I spent so much time here.

When the door opened, I expected to see a worried Miley. Instead, I was greeted by a shocked Jackson. "Hey, Lilly."

"H-hi. Um. Is Miley here?" I asked. The sky got even darker.

"Um, actually, no. Sorry. She's got a Hannah thing. She's been really busy lately," Jackson said, scratching his head.

I nodded. "Yeah. Okay. I'll-I'll go home, then. Thanks," I said, turning around and starting to walk home. I didn't want to go home. Maybe I would just keep walking until I couldn't anymore.

"Wait!" Jackson called after. I turned around. "Stay! You can stay here whenever you want, even if Miley's not here. Unless, unless you don't want to. Um. Yeah."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Of course! You don't have to feel uncomfortable since it's just me!" he said, grinning.

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable around Jackson. It would just feel a bit weird. I was just used to being Miley's friend around Jackson, not just a normal girl sitting around in his house. I almost ran towards the door and I bounded in, hoping to avoid the rain that was most likely coming soon.

"Excited?" Jackson said, laughing and closing the door.

I smiled again. "I just hate rain."

"Me, too."

I smiled yet again. It actually felt comfortable to be around Jackson like this. "Thanks for letting me stay."

He smirked. "Thanks for staying."

-  
Oooh! What's coming in the next chapter? You'll have to wait and find out! I have lots of ideas so I think the next update will come soon!

-Kiso


	3. Echo of Love

Sorry for the late update! I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I'm trying to make my chapters longer, so hopefully this will satisfy you guys!

Chapter...three!  
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**ECHO OF LOVE**

I sat down on the couch and felt my heart beat faster and faster. What was I going to say to Jackson? What if there was one of those long, awkward silences the whole time? I felt myself swaying from side to side as Jackson hit play on the remote.

A movie started on the screen. I was pretty sure I'd seen it before. We sat in comfortable silence for a while before I finally cleared my throat and said, "What movie is this?"

"Office Space," Jackson replied, smiling at the movie.

"Oh! That's why it seems so familiar. I've seen the TV version," I said, laughing at a part in the movie. I loved the guy with the stapler; he was my favorite, even though I had long since forgotten his name.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. It's really funny. It's sort of weird, too. "

"We can watch something else if you want," he said, starting to get up.

"No, no, no! You just, um, sit. Watch."

"No, really, it's okay. I've this a million times," he got up and turned Office Space off.

I couldn't help but watch him as he moved around the room. The way his light hair gently fell over his eyes, the way his fingers handed the DVD as delicately as a feather. He must be the only guy I know whose jeans aren't at his knees. Well, besides--

I stopped my thoughts as his name almost entered my thoughts. I pushed the thought out and focused on Miley's house, Miley's walls...Miley's brother...

"Lilly? What movie do you want?" Jackson asked me.

I turned around to face him, grateful for a distraction from my thoughts. "Um...a comedy? Any comedy."

He smirked. "Got the perfect one. Okay, now don't look until I tell you to. This movie is gonna be a surprise, okay?"

I smiled and closed my eyes. "Okay."

I heard him try to tiptoe across the room, then trip on something and say, "Shit!" I laughed and he threw something at me. When he told me to open my eyes, I saw that it was a pillow. I looked up at the TV. A smile crossed my face. "Scary Movie Three?"

He grinned from ear to ear. "It's a comedy, right?" He plopped down next to me and clicked play. His hands gripped the remote forcefully yet, somehow, gently. I sort wanted to touch them.

I shook my head and focused on the movie. I couldn't help myself; I was laughing in the first two minutes of it. It was such stupid humor.

The last thing I remember is hearing, "He woke up dead!" "Man, how do you wake up dead?"

There I was again. On the ground, screaming. But this time, it wasn't his car pulling away. It was Miley's. No, no it wasn't. It was...Jackson's.

Tears flowed from my eyes as the car drove farther and farther away. It wasn't Miley begging me to stop screaming. It was Oliver. It surprised as how clearly I could remember him, even though he was blurry in the dream. It also surprised me that I could think his name now.

On some level, I knew that I was dreaming, but it seemed so real as Oliver easily scooped me up in his arms and ran away with me, leaving my books scattered on the ground.

"Jackson!" I whispered as my eyes snapped open. In front of me was the TV, the movie still on.

"Yeah?" Jackson answered. I realized my head was on his shoulder and his arm was around my shoulders. I slowly got up and Jackson took his arm back.

"Was I...asleep for a long time?" I asked.

Jackson shook his head. "Probably for only about fifteen minutes. If you want to go to sleep, you can always go to Miley's room."

"Sorry. I just feel...weird. Like, not tired, but my body just doesn't want to do anything. Have you ever felt that way?"

He smiled. "After football tryouts. And I didn't even make it!"

"That sucks!" I said, laughing. A thought hit me and I groaned.

"What?" Jackson asked.

"I forgot my backpack at home. I had homework and stuff. At least, I think I did," I said, starting to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I gotta go do my homework. I've already missed enough, you know?" I peeked through the curtains and frowned. It was still raining.

Jackson examined my expression and said, "It's still raining, isn't it?" I nodded. He got up from the couch. "Come on, I'll drive you. I don't want you to get sick."

I turned around. "Are you sure?"

"Of course! It's no trouble at all."

I settled into his car and smiled; it was really warm and cozy. And it smelled good, which was a bonus that I wasn't expecting. Jackson put the key in the ignition and the car made a comfortable purring sound.

As we pulled up to my house, I felt those feelings of suffocation creeping up on me again. "Um, will you come with me?" I asked, my voice squeaky with embarrassment.

Luckily, Jackson just smiled and said, "Sure."

I opened my door, shaking my head from the wetness of it. The rain was coming down harder than ever. I looked up. There was my backpack, still on the floor where I had dropped it. I tried to pick it up but the feelings fell on me like a ton of bricks and I dropped to my knees.

Jackson seemed to understand because he grabbed my backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and helped me up, gently grabbing my hand. As we ran back to the car and entered it, I was vaguely aware that I was still holding his hand, but I was even more aware of all the memories that had come back to me in that house.

I shook my head again, but not from the rain this time.

I had to get those thoughts out.

---

I checked the time yet again. Ten o'clock. How long was Miley's concert going to be? I looked up at Jackson, who was hunched over his homework. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Math. It sucks," he muttered, his pencil poised above the page, like he was about to write something, but didn't know what.

I smiled. "Don't I know it. What kind of math?"

"Geometry," he said, his eyebrows furrowing. He groaned and dropped his pencil. Suddenly, he looked up at me, his eyes shining. "You wanna go somewhere?"

"Um. Sure. Where?"

"Don't ask. Let's just go!" he got up and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the garage. I smiled; I loved surprises.

The trail became familiar as Jackson turned the corner. "Oh my gosh!" I cried out as the familiar red neon sign came into view. "I'm totally in the mood for ice cream!"

Jackson beamed. "I knew you would be. Ice cream always helps with math block."

"Does it?" I asked. We got out of the car and walked up to Dairy Queen. I ordered a double chocolate waffle cone with sprinkles and Jackson ordered a Brownie Earthquake. We sat on the trunk of his car and slowly ate our ice cream. "So...what's up?"

"Nothing much. School, friends, soccer. You know. Stuff," he answered.

I glanced sideways at him. "Soccer?"

"Yeah. I tried out for soccer and I made it. We haven't played any games yet, but we're practicing."

"Are you any good?"

"Hell yes. You know how they say 'Bend it Like Beckham?' Well, I say 'Stretch it Like Stewart,'" he said, grinning.

I laughed, not being able to help myself. "Oh my God. Please tell me you've never said that to anybody else."

"Why?" he asked, his grin getting bigger. "You don't like it?"

I shook my head yet again and kept laughing. When I looked up, Jackson was staring at me. "What?" I said.

He gently touched my cheek and said, "Sprinkle."

For some reason, I didn't feel myself blushing. I would've been blushing if it were any other guy. Except, of course--

_No._

I stuffed the ice cream into my mouth, making the cold feel of it freeze my brain and stop all my thoughts. I moved the ice cream and I could feel it all around my mouth. Jackson stared at me; I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

His attempts failed as he let a big chuckle out.

"Oh, you think that's funny, Jackson?" I asked, smirking, an idea in my head.

"Why yes I do, Lillian!" he said, still laughing.

I smashed my ice cream on his face and he froze for a split second, and then did the same to me with his Brownie Earthquake. I could feel Oreo bits sliding down my face. I was mad for about a millisecond, but then I thought it was hilarious. We erupted with laughter as we both looked at each other's cold, chocolate-stained faces.

I wasn't aware that our faces were mere inches apart until I opened my eyes, having closed them during our peals of laughter. The blush crept along my face as his head turned to face mine. We leaned in closer for a second until he pulled back, smiling and saying, "So? Ready to go?"

"Um! Yeah! Let's go," I hopped off the trunk and climbed back into the car before Jackson could say another word; I didn't want him to see my blush or notice my heavy breathing.

What. The hell. Was _that_?

---

I felt myself talking too fast as I told Miley everything that had happened. Her green eyes were wide as I told her the last part.

"Lilly," she said slowly, "do you, um, like Jackson?"

"No! I'm totally not ready for anything like that! I just, like, saw another side of him. It was really strange. I never thought of Jackson as anything more than your brother, you know?"

Miley nodded. "Well, that's cool. So, um, you ready to go to sleep?"

I nodded, even though I was too wound up to even blink. It might've been the ice cream, but, deep in some part of me that I knew I would never listen to, I knew it was something else. I smiled at Miley and snuggled into the blankets that were set up on the ground again. Miley had finally given in and she was now sleeping on the bed.

Forty minutes later, I was still laying there, listening to Miley's slow, even breaths. I turned over yet again and groaned. I stared up at Miley's ceiling; it was light blue and really smooth, everything that mine wasn't.

I decided to count sheep until I fell asleep.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six...somewhere in-between fifteen and sixteen, my eyes shut and I fell into a light, fitful sleep. I didn't want to dream, but I knew I would. And I knew exactly what it would be about.

"Lilly," he whispered, "I love you." I could hear his voice perfectly, but he was blurry again. "I love you," he kept repeating.

"No," I heard myself whisper. I was probably saying it out loud, too. "No, you don't."

"Oh, but I do, baby," he said, coming closer to me. But suddenly, he turned into smoke. He was carried away by the wind and all that was left of him was the echo of, "Love."

---

I felt my legs running, but my mind was in a totally different place. Which was totally why I forgot to turn at the corner and kept running.

Right into the sprinklers.

The cold water hit me like a million sharp knives. I stopped and turned around, just in time to see my gym classmates stop running and crack up. I grinned sheepishly, water running down my face.

"LILLIAN!" the teacher bellowed. "KEEP RUNNING!"

"Okay!" I said, turning around. I was about to start running again until I saw a pair of deep brown eyes staring back at me. "Jackson?" I whispered.

He smiled and disappeared.

---

"Lilly!" I heard Miley singsong from the end of the hall. I turned around, moving to the wall, and waited for her. She came up to me with a goofy expression on her face. "Guess what?"

I smiled. "What?"

"I, um, oh, uh. Ooh. Never mind," she said, looking away.

"Huh?" I said out loud. I wondered what it was that she couldn't tell me, until I finally realized what it could be. I smiled. "Just tell me. It's about a guy, right?"

She blushed and nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't be! I'm nothing but happy for you! So, who is it?" I prodded.

"Jake..." she smiled.

"Oh my gosh, Miles! That's awesome! What happened?"

"He asked me to the Valentine's Day Dance," she squealed. "And of course I said yes! I'm so super excited! I mean, like, this is amazing!"

"Totally!" I said, sort of distracted. I had forgotten all about the Valentine's Day Dance. Who was I gonna go with? Was I even going to go? "The Valentine's Day Dance is, like, two weeks away, right?"

"Oh, yeah, but it always helps to have a few weeks to look for a dress and everything. You and some guy can go," she said, smiling. Her smile disappeared as she realized the last thing she had said. "Or, I mean, I, um--"

I stopped her. "No, no! I can just stay home. Or maybe I'll go. But I really don't want you to worry about me. Just go and have fun. I'll help you find the perfect dress."

Miley hugged me. "Oh, Lilly, you're the best!"

I smirked. "I know, I know."

"So you wanna come to my house again?"

"Could I?"

"Always!"

"Miley, _you_ are the best," I smiled.

She laughed. "I know, I know."

-----------------------------------  
Ooh, a dance? Wow. I wonder where I am going with this.

You'll have to find out and see. And no, the dance doesn't happen in the next chapter. That would be too fast! Don't you guys know me? I love to torture you all!

Just kidding!  
Kiso


	4. Leap

I love this story. It makes me happy to write it and then read everybody's reviews; you guys always say the best things! Thanks so much! 

Here is chapter four.  
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**LEAP**

I popped another yellow Skittle into my mouth and shook my head. "I think Big Foot would win."

"Against King Kong? Are you crazy?" Jackson asked, raising his eyebrows at me. Miley laughed and changed the channel on the TV.

"No. I mean, like, you know what they say. 'The bigger they are the harder they fall.' And plus, Big Foot could just kick him really hard," I replied.

"Yeah, but Kong could just snap his neck in half and be done with it."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think so. Big Foot could just as easily dodge him."

"I must admit, you have a good point there. But I refuse to budge."

"Then we're at a moot point," I smiled. I couldn't even remember how this conversation had gotten started, but it had turned into this big thing.

"I guess we are," Jackson smirked, reaching across my lap to grab some Skittles. "Okay. Another question. Skittles or M & M's?"

"It depends," I answered easily.

"On what?" he stuffed a handful of Skittles into his mouth.

"On the mood I'm in."

"Or what you're craving," Miley joined in. Jackson nodded, but he looked sort of confused. "It's a girl thing."

"I eat both. At the same time," he smirked again. I shot him a disgusted look. "Dear Lilly, it all goes in the same place, does it not?"

"Shut up," I said, trying not to laugh.

Miley smiled and shook her head. "You're retarded, Jackson."

He mocked her and winked at me. Miley's phone rang and she grabbed it from the coffee table. She squealed when she saw who the call was from. She jumped up, saying, "I'll be back!"

"One guess who that was," Jackson said. I rolled my eyes. "What do you wanna watch?" he said, handing me the remote.

"Anything but a dating show," I blurted out before I had even fully comprehended the question. "I mean, um, maybe a sitcom?"

"Okay," he said, unfazed by my embarrassment. Our short silence was interrupted by the sound of Miley screaming and running down the stairs towards us.

"LILLY! JAKE ASKED ME OUT! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" she said, her voice higher than I thought was even possible.

"For when?" I asked, still half-watching the TV.

"Today! He has, like, three hours off the show so we're gonna go see a movie and then go to dinner! Ahhh! I'm so excited! Oh my God! What do I wear?"

With that, she screamed again and ran back up the stairs. Jackson laughed and I shook my head, temporarily deafened by her screaming. "Umm...whoa."

"She's such a drama queen," he said. "Hey. You wanna do something while she's on her date?"

The words didn't trigger any pain or memories, as they would have with anybody else; Jackson was always the perfect kind of careful around me. "Sure. Where?"

"Mini golf. I am the king," he smirked.

"Move over, then. The queen is in the house," I said.

"Can't we share the castle?"

"In your dreams!" I laughed.

Miley came down the stairs just then, and we snapped back to normal, not knowing that we had leaned in closer to each other.

"What do you think?" Miley asked me, twirling. She had on a plain white tee, some necklaces, and a brightly colored skirt that came up above her knees.

"The question should be: what the hell are you thinking with that skirt? Is Jake looking for a hooker or a girlfriend?" Jackson said, frowning at her. It was the first time I had seen him actually being protective over her.

"Oh my God, it's fine. Right, Lills?" she said, turning to me.

"Yeah. It looks great!"

A weird look crossed Miley's face and she turned to me, saying, "Oh! Lilly! I'm sorry! I'm not gonna leave you leave here alone! I'm gonna go cancel!"

"No, Miles! Me and Jackson are, um, gonna go mini golfing," I said slowly, wondering if the fact that I would be hanging out with her brother would be weird.

"Oh, okay! That's great!" Miley said just as soon as we heard a horn honk. "Yay! That's him! Bye, Lills! Love you! Bye Jackson!" She darted out of the door and towards Jake's silver car. I saw her smile at him and had to look away.

"So? You still think you can beat me?" Jackson said, flashing me a smile.

I got up and said, "Come on, you sissy. Get your keys."

---

I turned to Jackson and smirked. "Hole in one."

"Bah! It's only the third hole," he said, taking his golf ball and positioning it. "Get ready to cry, little girl."

"Blah blah blah. Just hit the ball," I said, leaning on my club.

He hit the ball too hard, wincing as it whizzed past a man's head. I laughed and he turned around, ushering me to the next hole. "Mini golf king. Spare me."

"Oh, shut up," he said, smirking at me.

At the eighteenth hole, I hit the ball and, once again, got a hole in one. "I win!" I turned around to brag, but Jackson was nowhere in sight. "Jackson?" I could feel my heart beating faster and faster until I spotted him a small table, waving to me.

"Lills! Over here!" he yelled. People turned to glare at him, annoyed by the disruption, but he didn't seem to notice.

I walked over to him, saying, "Where'd you go?" He gestured to the table, which was covered with tons of food. "Gosh, you think we'll think need this much?"

He laughed. "I will! I'm starved."

"Oh yeah, all those calories we burned off! Whew!" I said sarcastically, taking a seat across from him. I picked up a French fry and took a bite of it while Jackson chewed on a cheeseburger.

He swallowed and smiled at me. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Guess."

"You found out a better saying than 'Stretch it Like Stewart?'"

"No, but you're close."

"Tell me."

"I have my first game Friday."

"Nuh uh! Awesome. What time?"

"Starts at seven."

"I'll be there!" I said, eating another French fry.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah! Why not? Unless you don't want me to go," I added quickly.

"No, no! I just didn't know if you would want to go to anything sports related. I mean, most girls don't like that kind of stuff," he said slowly.

I rolled my eyes. "Please. What a stereotype! I'll be there."

His smile got even bigger. "Cool."

And I found myself smiling, too.

---

I hopped out of Miley's car. Miley leaned over the passenger seat. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

I smiled and nodded. "Totally. See you tomorrow!"

"Okay. Bye," Miley said, rolling up the car window and driving away. I let out a breath and turned around to face the one thing I hadn't been to in months: my house.

It was okay from outside. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, expecting to be knocked over by all-too-familiar emotions. But...nothing. Nothing but the blinking red light of the answering machine.

I clicked the play button and my mom's voice came on. "Hey, Lilly," she started, sounding sad and unhopeful, "call me if you're back. I love you!"

Sadness and guilt washed over me like the ocean. My mom had probably waited for my call everyday, but had received nothing but disappointment and silence from her only daughter for the last three months.

I pressed the call button and got her voicemail, so I said, "Hey, Mom. It's Lilly. I'm back now, and I wanted to say sorry for never calling you. I'm really sorry! I love you!"

I sighed and sat down on my familiar couch, taking in my house. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. I looked at the LCD screen. Miley.

I answered it, saying, "Hey, Miles."

"Hey. You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm great! Hey, I gotta go; I'm getting another call!" I said. I waited for her to say bye before clicking the talk button. "Hello?"

"Lills!" I heard a familiar voice say. I moved the phone from my ear and checked the name; it was my brother, Derek.

"Derek!" I squealed. "Where are you?"

"On your left," he said. I could almost hear the smirk in his voice. I looked to my left and, of course, there he was, cell phone at his ear, smiling at me through the glass doors.

I ran over, dropping my cell phone, opened the door and hugged him. "Derek!" I repeated.

"Are you on break or something?" I asked him as I bustled around the kitchen, trying to find some snacks.

"I guess so. Early spring break or something like that..." he said, trailing off, something he did when he was keeping something inside.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning on the kitchen counter and grinning at him.

"I...I think I wanna make a b-big change in my life," Derek said, stumbling through the words.

"Like what?"

"I'm going to propose to Lana," he said, not looking at me. Lana was his girlfriend of over five years, and I knew that he loved her more than anything in the world.

"No way! That's so amazing, Derek! Aww, that is so sweet!"

"You think she'll say yes?"

"Of course she'll say yes! You two have been together forever; you've known each other forever! Plus, you're a great guy! Why would she say no?" I said, finding myself beaming.

"I don't know, Lills. This whole thing is so...so confusing," he said, hesitating.

"I'm not following. What thing?"

"Love."

The one word, one silly syllable was enough to send waves of sadness and panic all throughout my body. "Love," I repeated, the word mangled and detached. "Yes." I shook my head. "It's confusing, but you know you absolutely love Lana, right?"

"More than anything," he answered, not even a second after the words left my mouth.

"Then it's worth it. It's worth everything, Derek. Don't let it get away." The words came out thick. I tried to ignore the pangs my heart was sending me.

"Thanks, Lills," he said, patting the spot on the couch next to him. I walked over and sat down, suddenly exhausted.

"Anytime," I said, closing my eyes. "Anytime..."

The last thing I remember is Oliver's face flashing beneath my shut lids...

---

I zipped up my jacket and locked the door behind me. I headed out to my car, which I hadn't driven in months. I smiled at it, remembering how excited I was when I had first gotten it. The good old days, I thought to myself.

Derek had left a couple of days ago, after telling Mom he was thinking of proposing to Lana, making her squeal and smile for hours, having her lose even more sleep. We said our goodbyes, short and sweet, as always, and he was off again.

I climbed into the car and took out my cell phone, calling Miley. "Hey."

"Hey," Miley answered.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?"

"'Kay," she replied, "I'll see you then."

I pulled up to Miley's house and lightly honked on the horn. She came out in capris and a simple tank top, jacket tied around her waist.

"Let's go!" she said as she climbed into the passenger side of my car.

I smiled and drove away from her house, towards the school. "Think we're gonna win?"

"Dunno," she answered, checking her reflection in the side mirror. "It's only our first soccer game. I can't really decide whether we suck yet."

I laughed. We were going to Jackson's first soccer game. I was going to go alone at first, but Miley had vied to go with me. I knew she was just going because Jake was on the team, too, but it would be nice that she would be there with me.

Barely any people were at the game, so it wasn't too hard to find seats. Jackson--and the rest of the team, of course--turned out to be really good, and they won their first game. The small crowd cheered as Jake scored the winning goal, ending the game.

"GO JAKE!" Miley squealed, doing a one-girl wave. Jake jogged over to her, kissing her, and Miley didn't seem to mind his sweaty state.

Jackson walked over to us, turning to me as he took in Miley and Jake, nearly in Full Makeout Mode. "Hey."

"Hey," I said, smiling. "You were great!"

"You think so? Thanks," he said smiling.

I hopped off the bleacher, finding myself closer to Jackson. And as he took another step, and I took another step, I could feel my heart trying to stitch itself back together, trying to find the pieces that had been torn off. We were so close to each other, and all I wanted, all I needed, was to take that one last step, that leap that would either take me to safety or throw me into the ocean without a life jacket, leaving me to kick and scream...

...again.

---------------------------  
Sorry for the late update! I'll put the same thing I put at the end of Imperfect.  
**NOTE:** I might not update for a while; exams are coming up and I really need to study and buckle down! So if you don't see me around for a while, I haven't deserted any of my stories! Thank you.

Toodles!  
Kiso


	5. Pop Tarts

**POP-TARTS**

I slammed my locker shut.

What a crappy day. First, a pop quiz in math class that I totally wasn't ready for. And then, a history test that I had studied for but that I think I failed. And homework. Lots of it.

I groaned and stepped out of school, grateful for the end of the day.

"Lilly!" Jackson called out, holding my skateboard.

I smiled despite my shitty mood. "Hey. What are you doing with my skateboard?"

"I was gonna ride it," he said, a smirk on his face.

A laugh made its made out of my mouth. "You don't know how to ride skateboards…do you?"

"Well…technically, no. But I've played Tony Hawk Playstation games enough to try it!"

I shook my head. "You're gonna hurt yourself. Give it."

But he was walking away, backwards, already starting to step on the skateboard. "Don't think so. See you later, Lilly!" With that, he turned around and skated down the path, quick but unsteady.

"Jackson!" I yelled, running after him.

"Yes?" he called back in a sing song voice.

And then the next thing I knew I was flying through the air, towards Jackson and his extremely bad skateboard moves. And then I was on the grass, lying next to him, the skateboard a few feet away, the wheels still spinning.

"Holy," he said, rubbing his head. "What," he started to laugh, "was that?"

"I think I tripped on a rock," I grumbled, turning over so he couldn't see me blushing.

He was still laughing. "Smooth. Hey, are you okay? Come on, don't not talk to me. It wasn't that funny. Well, I'm lying. That was hilarious. But…Lilly," he said, his voice soft. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

He leaned over me, his face worried.

I turned around and suddenly we were face to face, so close I could see the little sprinkle of freckles he had on his nose. "I'm fine," I said, my blush deepening.

He didn't move; he just hovered over me, and I realized that I didn't mind. Not a bit.

"_Lilly, I know you want to kiss me," Oliver said, a smirk on his face. He was leaning over me, his chest pressed against mine._

"_I know you want to kiss me, too," I teased._

"_I know. I do," he said, his face getting closer._

I shook my head. My blush increased. "You suck at skateboarding," I mumbled.

Jackson laughed. "Like you're better," he said, sitting up.

The grass was bothering my legs, but I didn't feel like getting up. "Oh my gosh. I so am."

"Show me."

I groaned and rolled onto my stomach. "Don't feel like getting up."

"Mhm."

I rolled over and sat up, quickly. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It's just…mhm. You just know you're not any better than me."

I stuck my tongue out at him and got up. "Shut up. I'm not gonna fall for that."

"You already fell," he reminded me, grinning.

I groaned again. "I'm gonna hurt you."

He spread out his arms and said, "Come get me."

I kicked him and turned around, grabbing my skateboard. "Bye, Jackson."

Suddenly he was behind me, following me. "Come on, Lilly. I wanna see you on your skateboard. Please?" I glanced back at him; he was giving me puppy dog eyes.

"Okay. Sit down on that rock. Watch me and shut up."

"What if I don't shut up?"

"I'll throw the skateboard at you."

"Cool."

But before I had even gotten on the skateboard, I was falling toward the ground, waiting for the crushing impact. But it didn't happen. Something was holding me back.

Something was also pulling me against its very nice, soft chest.

"Geez, Lilly," Jackson said, his chin resting on top of my head. "You are so clumsy. I'm surprised you haven't killed yourself on that skateboard yet."

I couldn't reply. All I could do was feel my head against his chest and his arms around my back and think about how right it felt.

I flipped through the channels on Miley's TV, finding nothing that I liked.

"Lilly," Jake said. "Give me the remote."

"No," I said. "You get Miley. At least let me watch what I want."

"You're not even stopping for anything!"

"Eh. Then let me flip through the channels."

"Yes. Let the lady flip," Jackson said, flopping down in-between us on the couch. "Wait. Lilly. Go back. That looked good."

"Nope," I replied. "Too slow."

"Too slow?" he repeated. He tickled my side, making me laugh and let go of the remote. "Ha. Man, I'm good."

I shook my head, but I didn't try to get the remote back. I sat back, sinking into the couch cushions, leaning my arm into Jackson's discreetly.

Ever since he'd saved me from falling on my face, we'd gotten closer. Not as close as Miley and Jake, but close enough to where he would hold me if I needed him to and he would ruffle my hair and then run his fingers through it slowly, smiling at me.

A shiver passed through my body as I thought about it. Jackson glanced at me and I shook my head, smiling.

Miley bounded downstairs, mumbling something into her cell phone. She shut it quickly and looked at me. "Guess what?" she said excitedly.

"What?" Jake said.

"Jakey? You're here? Oh, um, well…there's a sale at the shoe store!" she replied.

I laughed; Miley was such a bad liar. She caught my eye and said, "Lilly, will you come help me real quick?"

"Sure," I said, getting up and following her into the hallway.

"Guess what?" she whispered excitedly.

"What?"

"I just booked a gig opening for Justin Timberlake! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

"Whoa! That's so cool, Miley!"

"I know! Oh but I have to cancel this date I have with Jake because the gig is tomorrow…oh man…what should I do?"

I smiled. "Leave it to me!"

"Yay!"

I walked out into the living room. "Jake, do you have a date with Miley tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he said, glancing at me and then Miley, standing behind me, probably making fawn eyes at him.

"Wrong answer. Me and Miley are hanging out tomorrow!" I said, smiling.

"But--"

"But nothing. I haven't hung with Miley in forever. I'm in withdrawal here," I fake pouted.

He sighed. "Okay, okay. I guess I can give my baby up for one day," he said, getting up and going over to Miley, kissing her.

I sat down on the couch and looked away. Jackson pulled me into a tight hug. I relaxed and leaned into him. He smelled like maple syrup.

"Did you eat pancakes?" I said, sitting up as Miley and Jake separated.

He laughed and shook his head. "No. Why?"

"You smell like maple syrup," I mumbled, blushing as he smiled at me.

"Oh? Do you like it?"

"Maybe."

He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. He got off the couch and checked his pocket for something; his keys jingled.

"Going somewhere, Jackson?" Miley asked, sitting on Jake's lap.

"Mm…just gotta go buy some stuff."

I froze as I thought of being stuck here with Miley and Jake, the lovey dovey kissy poo couple; it made me want to sink into the couch and never come out.

"It's getting kinda late, Lilly. You want a ride home?" Jackson said, glancing outside then at me.

I looked at Miley; she was laughing at something Jake had said. "Sure," I said, getting up. "Bye, Miley. Jake. I'll see you tomorrow."

Miley smiled at me. "Bye, Lills!"

I stepped out, the cool air hitting me, and exhaled. "Thank you," I said to Jackson. "So much."

He stepped into his car and I did the same. "Anytime," he replied.

I didn't want to go home. I wanted to sit in Jackson's car that smelled like Febreeze and lean on his shoulder, where I could forget about everything and tilt my head up and bring my face closer to his and…

"Lilly?" Jackson said, probably not for the first time.

"Oh! Um. Sorry," I said, laughing nervously. "Um…yeah?"

"We're almost at your house," he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Oh," I said softly. I leaned my cheek against the window and closed my eyes, focusing on the bumps in the road and not the way I could still smell maple syrup or the sweet way he smiled at me or the memories of—bumps on the road. Bumps on the road.

"We're here."

I opened my eyes. "Yeah. We are."

The car idled. Crickets chirped. Wind blew.

"Are you hungry?" I asked suddenly, the words tumbling out of my mouth.

"Yeah," he said.

"I could…um…make you something."

"That'd be nice."

Ten minutes later, Jackson was sitting at my kitchen island, playing with a fork and waiting for our Pop-Tarts to pop out of the toaster.

"Sorry," I giggled, "that's really all I can make." I leaned against the island, my arms out in front of me.

He traced circles on my hand with the fork. "Nope. It's totally what I'm in the mood for."

I laughed. "You and Miley are such bad liars!"

"I'm an amazing liar!"

"Is that why your dad catches you every time you even _think_ of lying to him?"

"Well…I don't lie to him."

I raised my eyebrows.

"I…get creative with the truth," he said, smirking.

I laughed and laughed and I couldn't stop, the way I could never stop laughing around Jackson. Everything about him just made want to giggle like a little girl. And while I was laughing, I noticed that the fork had been replaced by his fingers, gently rubbing mine. And that I was leaning in and he was leaning in.

"I like you, Lilly," Jackson said, his face so, so close to my own.

I liked him, too. He made me happy and he let me forget about everything that I needed to forget about. I liked him so much. But…

"I'm scared," I said, looking him straight in the eyes.

He touched his forehead to mine. "I know, Lilly. I will go as slow as you need me to, okay? I only want to make you happy."

"Okay," I said, tears gathering in my eyes. "Thank you."

He smiled. "Hey, Lilly?"

I sniffled. "Yeah?"

"Our Pop-Tarts are getting cold."

**a/n:**

I'm so sorry for the wait! The next few chapters are gonna be really good; I promise!

:

**to my reviewers:**

Thanks for making me smile!


	6. Yellow Dress

**YELLOW DRESS**

_Jackson_

When did it start?

When did I start seeing Lilly as more than a girl who hung out with Miley, as more than a person who was always at my house? As more than a friend?

Maybe it was the night I slept in Miley's room when Miley was at a Hannah thing. Lilly was asleep but she tossed and turned constantly. She turned around, facing me, and her eyes opened wide. Her usually dark blue eyes were very, very light, as if all her tears had washed away the color. She looked sad, so sad. But then she smiled and said, "I know what it's like to be in love," as her eyes closed and her breathing became even.

Did Oliver have a choice? Did his parents say, "You're going and that's final"? If he'd had a choice, he wouldn't have left her. I knew that. You couldn't just leave Lilly. She was so delicate, so vulnerable-looking, like she would shatter if you didn't know to care for her.

--

I kicked the soccer ball to the freshman player, watching him try to kick it but end up just grazing the grass. "Good try, kid. Kick it back and we'll try it again."

"But I'm no good," the kid groaned, throwing the ball to me.

"Don't say that. Come on. You think David Beckham was amazing when he first started out? Homie just got famous 'cause girls think he's hot."

Lilly laughed, startling me. I had forgotten I had invited her to practice. She'd wanted to see me "stretching it like Stewart," she'd said, laughing. "Homie. You said homie," Lilly said, doubled over in amusement. She suddenly straightened up and said, "Ah! Sorry! I'll stop interrupting!"

The freshman was staring at Lilly, I noticed, a bit irritated. I threw the ball at him and it bounced off his head. "Pay attention, kid!"

The coach blew his whistle. "Okay, looks like rain's about to start, so you can all head home! Oh, and come on, freshmen, practice!"

I turned to Lilly. "So? What did you think?"

She mock-applauded me. "Amazing. Amazing. Homie got nothin' on you," she laughed again, shaking her head. "Homie." She suddenly gasped and looked down at her cell phone. "I gotta go! I'm sorry! My mom is home today for once and we're gonna have a girls day out!" She laughed and jumped off the bleachers, nearly falling on her face.

"Oh. Okay," I said, my voice kind of sad. I had been hoping to hang out with her. It seemed like lately she had gotten so busy. "Have fun," I managed a smile for her. She deserved every smile I had.

"I definitely will! Gosh! I love hanging out with my mom! See you later, J!"

--

Miley grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. I started to lean forward for the remote but she grabbed it and pointed it at me. "Get up. We're going somewhere."

"Where?" I asked, not in the mood to go anywhere with Miley. She could end up dragging me to her wardrobe fittings, saying she needed me to model clothes for her backup dancers. Leather chafes, by the way.

"The mall!"

I laughed. "Oh yeah, Miles. Good one. Why would you want to be seen at the mall with me?"

She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, trying to get me to stand up. "Ugh. You need to get a tux! Come on! And you can't go alone! What if you got an ugly tux? I would have to waste all my energy at the dance avoiding you!"

"What if I don't want to go to the dance?"

"What? Don't even! You are going!" she threw my car keys at me. "Get off your ass! Let's go! Geez," she said, walking out of the front door.

I groaned and followed her, ruffling her hair as I walked past her. "Oh. Wait. Am I gonna have to wait around for hours while you find a dress?"

Miley laughed shortly and gave me a 'what-the-hell-is-going-through-your-head-Jackson?' look. "Why would I go dress shopping with my _brother_? Me and Lilly went together! I already have a dress."

I wanted to ask her what Lilly's dress looked, but I held my tongue. I didn't want her to think I was obsessed. "What does it look like?" I blurted out.

"It's light blue and ties at the neck and…why do you care?" Miley glanced at me.

"Is it short?"

She blushed. "I-it's long enough f-for me!"

I shook my head. "Mi--"

She cut me off. "No. Don't. None of your business! Sorry, but that's the truth! Anyways! What kind of tuxedo do you want?"

"There are different kinds?"

Her face turned to one of helplessness. "We have a lot of work to do."

--

I heard a crash and Miley's, "Sweet niblets!" come from downstairs. I sighed and went downstairs, kind of scared to see what had happened.

"Miles?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes?" she sing-songed sweetly.

I turned the corner in the hallway and entered the living room. Miley was leaning awkwardly over a pile of broken glass, clutching a dustpan.

"What did you break?"

"Oh. J-just some glass dish! It wasn't anything important," she straightened out and I realized she was tall, really tall. I looked down at her feet; she had some scary-looking high heels on.

"H-how did you break the dish?"

She blushed and I could see her lips clamping together, trying not to let a laugh out. "I…I was balancing it on my head and I stumbled and it…it fell," she said, starting to giggle.

I groaned. "Go…ugh. Miley! Take those shoes off and just go get ready for the dance! I'll clean up the glass."

She hugged me, almost stumbling again, and said, "Thank you so much! My hair appointment is in, like, twenty minutes! Oh! And Lilly should be here any minute, so just let her in if she knocks, okay?"

I nodded absentmindedly, having let my mind wander as soon as Miley had said her best friend's name. Miley hopped upstairs, singing her latest Hannah Montana song.

A quiet knock came on the door. "Come in," I yelled, still cleaning up the glass.

Lilly came in silently; the door didn't even make noise when she closed it. "Ol-oh! Hey, Jackson! Um…what happened?"

I shook my head. "Ask Miley. She's a ditz."

I looked over my shoulder; she was smiling tenderly. "Yeah. Well, I'm gonna go get her! She's probably trying to get dressed up for the hair appointment. That girl," Lilly added as she ducked into the hallway.

That girl…

--

I buttoned the last button on my nice white dress shirt and quickly tucked the shirt into my new black dress pants. I laid down on my bed, not even wanting to go to this dance.

A knock came on the door to my room. The door opened after a minute and Miley poked her head in. Her eyebrows furrowed as soon as she spotted me. "Get up, get up! You're wrinkling the shirt!"

I sat up, setting my elbows on my knees. "There." Miley had almost ducked her head out of the door when I said, "Wait. Come in. Let me see your dress."

"W-what? Why? You can just see it later!" she said, blushing again.

"Miley," I said seriously.

She bit her lip and finally came in, sighing.

"Too short," I said automatically.

"What?" Miley said incredulously, looking down at herself and running her fingers over the light blue fabric. "It's fine!"

"It barely covers your knees."

"It doesn't have to! Geez! It's fine!" she said, storming out of my room.

The dress was actually fine. I just didn't want Miley to be taken advantage of. I didn't want had happened to Lilly to happen to Miley. I didn't know if Miley could survive losing somebody else.

I shook my head. I couldn't think about that now. I grabbed my jacket off my computer chair and shrugged into it, abandoning the dark blue tie Miley had picked out for me.

I pulled up in front of the school and drove around, looking for a spot. I finally found one in the very back of the parking lot. Freshman dashed past me, giggling, most of the girls wearing pink or red. My lips tugged at the corners; freshman always thought they had to wear Valentine's colors to this dance.

I thought about just getting back in my car and going home. Miley probably wasn't even going to acknowledge that I was alive anyway, so why did she make me go and buy a stupid suit? I sighed and entered the school, weaving my way to the gym.

It was covered in pink, red, and white balloons, streamers, and posters. My eyes sort of hurt. I passed by many guys from the soccer team, nodding to them, trying to figure what I was going to do now.

I had been sitting around for an hour, sipping red punch from a pink cup, waiting for somebody to just get into a fight or something to at least make this a bit interesting.

That's when I saw her.

She was wearing a light yellow strapless bubble dress, a small gold necklace around her neck. Her hair was down, beachy waves flowing down her back. She was going around people, smiling and laughing as she passed by friends. Guys were staring at her, I realized. I also realized that that bothered me. A lot.

A slow song started and a pained expression flashed on Lilly's face. She started going towards the exit. I quickly leaped up from my seat and crossed the distance in between us, tapping on her shoulder.

She turned around quickly, starting to say, "Mil--" when she saw that it was me. "Oh. Hi, Jackson."

"Dance with me," I said softly.

She took a quick step backward and then a slow step forward. "Um…'kay."

I put my arms around her waist and her hands settled on my shoulders. I didn't know what song was playing, and I didn't care. I was holding this beautiful girl. This beautiful girl was allowing me to hold her.

Lilly looked at me and smiled shyly, like we had just met. I leaned forward a tiny bit, and then more when she didn't lean away. I looked into her eyes; they were filling with tears.

"Lil--"

"I-I'm sorry, Jackson."

And just like that, she twisted out of my arms and ran out of the gym.

_Lilly_

Somebody tapped on my shoulder and I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to turn around and punch whoever it was. It was probably Miley. "Mil--" I started, but then stopped when my eyes fell on Jackson.

I had never seen him so dressed up before. His shirt looked brand new. So did his pants. And his jacket. Miley probably made him buy a brand new suit. His hair was falling lightly over his eyes. "Oh. Hi, Jackson."

"Dance with me."

"Um…'kay," I said stupidly. Wow, I thought to myself. I seriously couldn't have come up with anything better? He led me to a secluded part of the gym and put his arms around my waist. I tried not to flinch as I remembered how Oliver had always done that. I gasped to myself as I realized that I had just thought his name, just like that, so easily.

I smiled at him, but then I realized that I didn't know which boy I was being held by. His face was blurred out. Was this Jackson, holding me like I was about to break? Or was it Oliver, keeping me together but allowing some pieces to fall anyway? I was so confused. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be here at all. I could feel tears gathering in my eyes as the boy leaned forward, forever forward.

My sight came back as a tear escaped from my eye. This was Jackson. And I couldn't do this. How could I stand in front of him and pretend that I wasn't thinking of Oliver? How could I smile at him and not feel the stab of guilt in my heart as I imagine that Oliver's brilliant white smile was flashing back at me? How could I do this to him?

"Lil--" Jackson whispered, his expression pained.

My throat closed up as I removed myself from his arms. I swallowed and, risking one look at him, said, "I-I'm sorry, Jackson."

I ran out of the gym, almost falling on my face several times before finally getting to my car and breaking down, the tears flowing like a river down my cheeks, the sobs loud and scary. I drove home as fast as I could and I ducked into my house, running to the bathroom.

I looked absolutely horrible.

My eyes were red and puffy, my cheeks covered in mascara and eyeliner. Stupid tears, I thought bitterly as I slipped out of my dress and washed my face. I climbed into bed, not even bothering to put any clothes on. I was, for once, grateful that my mom was working the night shift and she couldn't see how pathetic her daughter was.

I watched the numbers on my digital clock change until I fell into a deep lull of sleep.

I woke up the next morning around eleven and I was grateful that it was Sunday. I couldn't face anything right now. I couldn't even face my own reflection when I brushed my teeth.

I wanted to forget all about the stupid dance. But I just couldn't. My dress was still in the bathroom, some black spots from my made-up tears. My shoes were still by my bed; I had almost tripped over them when I'd gotten up. And I couldn't get Jackson's face out of my mind. I just couldn't. His face had been so wounded and his arms had just fallen limp. I had really, truly hurt him.

So of course, tears flowed freely from eyes the whole morning.

I lazed around the house, at a loss. What was I going to do now? I groaned and opened the freezer, happy to see ice cream. After I had fished out all the cookie dough bites in the ice cream and eaten a purple popsicle, I sat back on the couch and listened to the ticking of the clock.

"Maybe I should go take a walk," I said to myself. "Okay, legs. Go. Come on. _Go_." I groaned as my legs did nothing. I felt like I wasn't in control of anything right now. Like my body wasn't connected to my body. Like my brain signals were just being wasted. "TV," I muttered. "Maybe I could read a book."

I lazed around for a good few hours and I was about to get up and try to do something productive when there was a knock at the door. I sat up and stretched, taking my sweet time getting to the door. "Probably just Miley," I said to myself as I opened the door.

And then…there…there he was. Standing there…standing there like…like…like some kind of…some kind of ghost. Like if I had tried to reach out and touch him, he would disappear.

"Lilly," Oliver said, his voice like velvet and silk. My dreams had not done him justice. No. Not even close. He was so perfect, so, so perfect.

I couldn't speak. I wasn't sure I even remembered how to. Oliver was standing in front of me, smiling at me, his eyes so tender. His lips looked so soft, his arms looked like they were just waiting for me, like they always had been before.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hug him.

But all I ended up doing was hitting the floor.

--

**This is what I've been waiting for! Ha ha! But I don't matter! What did you guys think?**

**To My Reviewers:**

_daisy617_: I'm sorry, this isn't soon! But thank you for the review!

_mrsremusjohnlupin_: Oh no! I would never abandon this story! It's pretty much my favorite one that I'm writing right now! And um…wow! I'm glad my dinky little story inspired you to read more fanfics, because there are tons of good ones! Hee hee! Thank you!!

_Frances Flick_: Here's more! Ha ha! Enjoy!


	7. Realism

**REALISM**

I opened my eyes and was greeted by Oliver's smiling face. "You got a haircut," I said stupidly.

"Yeah," he answered quietly, running his fingers through my hair. He was sitting on the couch; my head was on his lap and my legs were clumsily sprawled on the couch.

"How's Florida?" I asked quietly, not really looking at him. It didn't feel like a dream. It felt real, all too real; I knew that soon, Oliver would have to leave again.

He shrugged. He was still looking at me. It was unnerving. I closed my eyes and he laughed quietly. "What's wrong? I can't look at you?"

"No," I blurted out childishly. He laughed and I felt him lean down. I opened my eyes and there he was, oh God, there he was, really, truly, in front of me, and all I could think was my dreams never did him any justice, all I could think was my heartbeat is showing through my shirt, all I could think was my life went on without him, right?

I scooted out of his lap and sat on the other side of the couch. He laughed and I wrapped my arms around my knees, pulling my legs to my chest, closing myself off.

Oliver's eyes flashed and he sat against the couch easily. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "Really, Lilly?"

My eyebrows furrowed and my immediate response to his impatience was anger. "What, Oliver?" I spat out his name, the first time I had said it in months.

"Come on. Don't be like that."

I bristled and I suddenly hated those words. "Don't be like _what_? Scared? Apprehensive? I'm sorry, but you're the one who just up and left and then came back about, oh, five months later?"

"Do you think it was my choice, Lilly? Do you think I would've left if I'd had a choice? Fuck, Lilly, I'm not even seventeen yet! Do you think I can say 'no' if my parents say we have to leave?" he said heatedly, leaning forward.

"Yeah, but do you think I can just take you back that easily?"

He opened his mouth to say something but then stopped. "Wait. Take me back?"

My eyes widened.

"What the hell does that mean, Lilly? You let me go?"

I looked away from him, my mind on Jackson. Oh God, I thought slowly. I might as well have told him about Jackson with that stupid comment.

"You found somebody else," Oliver said slowly, incredulously.

I still couldn't look at him. What was I supposed to say? Yeah, Oliver. Oh, hey, you wanna know who it is? Jackson Stewart. Miley's brother. Oh, yeah, that's the one. You know him.

"Who is it, Lills?" he said softly, looking at me square in the eye. It kind of hurt when he called me Lills.

"You're telling me you didn't find anybody?" I said instead of answering his question.

"I missed you," he said instead of answering my question.

"Was it serious?"

He shook his head. I realized that during all this, he had moved closer and now his hand was on my knee. "Was yours serious?"

I bit my lip and shook my head.

Oliver cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me softly. He pulled away and I caved and I remembered how much I liked kissing him and I pulled him back and I threw my arms around his neck and I straightened my legs and Oliver hovered over me and we were a tangle of lips, of arms, of heartbeats.

He released me and I licked my lips. He laughed and said, "I'm sorry, Lilly. It meant nothing. I was a wreck in Florida." He hesitated before asking, "Who was it, Lilly?"

I said nothing, just looked at him. I sighed. "It doesn't matter," I whispered, pulling him in for another kiss. I felt Oliver's hand traveling up my shirt and my eyes fluttered open. He let go of my lips and blinked. His hand started to backtrack but I put my hand on his arm. "It's okay."

"You sure?"

I didn't care anymore. If Oliver left, he left. It had happened and if it happened again I could handle it. I just didn't care. It was going to happen. Before it did, I wanted to share this with Oliver.

I kissed him and whispered, "Absolutely," into the kiss.

---

"When are you leaving?" I asked Oliver bluntly, squirming under his comfortable weight.

He shifted slightly, making sure he wasn't crushing me. "A week."

I nodded, as if it didn't affect me, as if he'd told me the capital of Wisconsin, as if the information didn't hurt. "Your family here, too?"

It was his turn to nod. "They didn't even take me to the hotel. They just dropped me off here," he said, chuckling.

I smiled and then realized something. "Wait, wait. H-hotel? You guys sold the house?"

A confused look passed across his face. "Y-yeah, Lilly. You didn't know that?"

Suddenly, I was acutely aware of the fact that I was laying naked under Oliver. Why did this surprise me? Of course they would've sold their house. Why would they keep a place they wouldn't be living in anymore, why wouldn't they sell their house? I shook my head minutely. "So that means…it's permanent."

"No. It may be permanent for them, but as soon as I can live on my own legally, I will be back here," Oliver said fiercely, as if he actually believed it.

I laughed sadly. "That's cute, Oliver."

"What?"

"You're going to find something in Florida; you're going to forget all about me. And it'll be easy, Oliver. It'll be so easy to let go and forget," I said softly, my hand on his cheek.

"_What_? Lilly, how can you say that? How can you even think that?"

"How can you not think that? I'm being real here! People forget; it's what they do!"

He sat up and I felt cold, lonely, scared. "It was serious, wasn't it? That guy? It was so serious that it wouldn't even bother you if I left right now."

"Oliver, no! I'm just…I'm just being real. I don't want to get my hopes up." I looked at him sadly.

He looked at me for a while before saying, "Are you going to tell me who it was?"

"Let it go, Oliver. Are you going to tell me?"

"It wouldn't matter. You don't even know her."

I didn't respond. Oliver sighed. "I know him, don't I?" He took a deep breath. "Fuck, Lilly. Fuck it. Forget it. It doesn't matter. It wasn't serious, right? So I should just let it go," he said, gradually finding his way back on top of me.

I nodded and kissed him again. A phone rang somewhere and I was hoping Oliver would ignore it but he pulled away slowly and grabbed his phone. My face scrunched up as I imagined the girl from Florida sending him a text message. He looked at me and laughed. "Don't worry, Lills. It's my parents. I'll call them later. For now," he kissed me again, "I'm all yours."

Yeah, I thought as I ran my hands down his back, for now.


End file.
